I hope you enjoy these humorous quotes. If you like these types of quotes, I hope you check out my book 199 Ways To Improve Your Relationships, Marriage, And Sex Life by L. B. Sommer. There are two chapters in the back of my self-help book dedicated to relationship quotes by famous people and celebrities. One chapter is full of meaningful quotes, while the second chapter is full of different humorous quotes similar to the ones on this page.
The brain is the most
outstanding organ. It works
24 hours a day 365 days a year
from birth until you fall in love.
~Unknown~
Men only have
two faults....
What they do,
and what they say!
Or could that be backwards? You decide...
Women only have
two faults....
What they do,
and what they say!
"I believe sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin
"Forget love,
I'd rather fall in chocolate."
Sandra J. Dykes
"Love is the answer,
but while you are waiting for the answer,
sex raises some pretty good questions."
Woody Allen
"Nobody will ever win the battles of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
Henry Kissinger
"If you want to read about love and marriage
you've got to buy two separate books."
Alan King
Love is like the measles;
we all have to go through it.
Jerome K Jerome
"Married and unmarried women waste
a lot of time feeling sorry for each other."
Myrtle Reed
"When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea his first name was Always."
Rita Rudner
"When a man steal your wife,
there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry
"Marriage is nature's way
of keeping people from
fighting with strangers."
Alan King
Marriage.
The beginning and the end
are wonderful.
But the middle part is hell.
~Enid Bagnold~
"A man in love is incomplete
until he has married
- then he's finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"A successful man is one who makes
more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one
who can find such a man."
Lana Turner
Behind every great man
is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carey
"Love can sometimes be magic.
But magic can sometimes
just be an illusion."
Javan
Love is the child of illusion
and the parent of disillusion.
Miguel De Unamuno
"Love is the triumph of
imagination over intelligence."
H. L. Mencken
""At the touch of love
everyone becomes a poet."
Plato
"Love is temporary insanity
curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
"The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
Coleridge
"One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued."
